Category Archives: family

Our Quick Visit to Moldova

The Far Outliers have just returned from a short visit to Moldova, flying from Warsaw to Chișinău for Poland’s Corpus Christi school holidays. We had multiple reasons for the visit.

We had earlier considered doing another year abroad under the English Language Fellow program after our year in Poland. In fact, we had originally hoped to go to Romania, but there were no current openings. Moldova has an opening for next year, but my scary health problems during our deep winter in Poland made me fear I might not make it through a Moldovan winter, despite my advantage of arriving in Moldova still fairly fluent in Romanian. Public signage all over Chișinău was indeed almost fully in Romanian (not in Moldovan Cyrillic or Russian), and I enjoyed being able to converse much more readily in Romanian than I have been able to in Polish. (My ability to navigate written Polish is far ahead of my conversational ability.)

Our other reason for visiting Moldova was to make a pilgrimage to the village where Ms. Outlier’s Bessarabian German grandfather was born, and from which his family emigrated via Odessa to Canada and the Dakotas in the 1890s. Their rural village was named Neudorf, like dozens of German villages around the world. (There is a Neudorf village in Saskatchewan, and a poorly documented Neudorf cemetery in Eureka, South Dakota, originally settled by Germans from Russia). All the remaining Germans were expelled from Bessarabia in the 1940s, and Neudorf was renamed Carmanova (in Russian, Карманово).

Carmanova now lies in Transnistria, so near to the Ukrainian border that T-Mobile sent us “Welcome to Ukraine!” text messages when our phones came within range of their Ukraine cell towers. To get us there (and back), Moldova Tours was able to arrange for a private driver fluent in Russian, Romanian, and English, who had prior experience driving groups into the Transnistrian capital, Tiraspol, on their Soviet-era culture tours. But he had never been to very rural Carmanova and was curious about it. We ended up getting turned back twice at Russian Army checkpoints that could not handle international passports, and we had to wait in a long, slow line at the Grigoriopol checkpoint that could process our passports. They gave us a temporary insert but did not stamp our passports.

The rolling green hills of the Transnistrian countryside are quite lovely in June, with vast acres of foot-high sunflower sprouts. Several forks in the road had signposts directing us to the German settlements, and the road into the village featured a roughly made tall welcome sign with the year 1809 (when Neudorf was founded), its name in Cyrillic, Нойдорф, the year 1944, and its new name Карманово (from Карман ‘pocket’?). There was also a rock monument in the village inscribed to mark the 200th anniversary of its founding in 1809.

The village itself was very small and quiet. We were given a tour of the House of Culture by its cordial manager. It contained a curtained stage and auditorium, a disco hall, a barre-lined ballet studio, and several rooms for workshops of various kinds. We also visited the cemetery for Soviet soldiers who died there, billboards with the names and faces of local citizens who died between 1941 and 1945. We saw no sign of a former church. The little country store where we bought a bottle of Ukrainian water took only Transnistrian rubles, so our driver/translator handled the payment.

I’ve added a Moldova album to my Flickr site, Joel Abroad.

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Filed under family, Germany, language, migration, Moldova, Romania, Russia, U.S., Ukraine

Student Evaluation Day in Moldova

From Lenin’s Asylum: Two Years in Moldova, by A. A. Weiss (Everytime Press, 2018), Kindle pp. 53-54:

Lyudmila Petrovna asked if I could say a few words.

I’d prepared a stern lecture about the importance of homework and intellectual discipline. Pupils shouldn’t cheat. I wanted to explain why students needed books every day and couldn’t share pencils while taking notes. And though I didn’t wish to lecture anyone on proper parenting skills, I thought I might touch on the need to curb the smoking, drinking, and sexual assault in the school zone.

But I abandoned this prepared lecture. I feared anything negative I shared would lead to beatings.

So instead, using my best Russian, I painted a less dire picture. “Moldova is different than America,” I began. “My pupils are struggling, but that is to be expected. I don’t teach like a Russian. I expect different things and it will take the pupils time to understand these things. They play with each other too much, true, but they understand me more each day and I think soon they will speak English.”

All the faces in the audience smiled at me and I felt pleased with myself. The parents would be patient with their young learners. They would communicate that students should be patient with me, do everything I say, and stop sexually assaulting their classmates. I honestly thought we’d all come to this amicable conclusion.

Lyudmila Petrovna looked at the floor while she considered what to say next. On several occasions she’d rescued me when my classes got out of control. Her room was just down the hall and when she heard more than five kids screaming at once she’d rush into the room and threaten to kill anyone who didn’t shut up and respect me. The little ones feared her. And now she wanted the little ones to fear their parents.

“Any behavior problems?” asked Lyudmila Petrovna.

“Oh, certainly,” I said.

“We demand names!” shouted the parents in unison. And when I failed to list the offenders they shouted family names for me to inform on.

“Crimiac? Does he listen?”

“Osipov? Did he start that fire?”

I placed my palms in the air. I surrendered.

“Okay,” shouted Lyudmila Petrovna. “One at a time.”

We spent the next ten minutes going down the class roster. I named names. Little Sasha didn’t do his homework. Maxim didn’t stay in his seat. Anya habitually cheated. And so on.

The parents promised immediate improvement. I feared for these children.

But I no longer feared repercussions from their parents. These weren’t parents. As Lyudmila Petrovna called on each raised hand, she introduced the woman and her role in the student’s life. Before me were a handful of grandmothers, aunts, distant cousins, neighbors—but few actual parents. Things became clearer for me: many of those who acted up in my class had parents elsewhere in the world, working jobs in Russia or still farther away. Grandmothers looked after grandchildren. Neighbors stepped in. Older siblings took larger roles. I had assumed Andrei was sitting in the audience with his mother, but in fact he was there to represent his younger brother, Maxim. When their mother next called home he would give his report of little Maxim’s poor behavior and she would scold him over the phone from Italy.

Everyone thanked me before I left. One of the grand-mothers asked when I would marry. Seeing this as an opening for questions, others shouted out the suspicions they wished confirmed. How much could I be making per month in America? How well did I speak German? What type of spying had I accomplished in the past? Was the Peace Corps a consequence associated with the American penal system, and if so what had I done?

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Filed under education, family, language, migration, Moldova, Russia, U.S.

Polish Realia: Japan’s Golden Week

From Moja Japonia, by Anna Golisz (Petrus, 2010), p. 218 (with Google Translations into English):

Showa day – 29 kwietnia – dzień urodzin cesarza Showa. Przed 2007 roku, tego dnia był obchodzony Zielony Dzień, który teraz obchodzony jest 4 maja. Ten dzień jest częścią długiego majowego weekendu (Golden Week)
Showa Day – 29 April – Emperor Showa’s birthday. Before 2007, this day was celebrated as Green Day, which is now celebrated on May 4. This day is part of the long May weekend (Golden Week)

Dzień Konstytucji – kenpo kinenbi – 3 maja
Constitution Day – 憲法記念日 – 3 May

Zielony Dzień – midori no hi -4 maja, do 2006 roku obchodzono 29 kwietnia, gdyż były to urodziny cesarza Showa, który lubił rośliny i przyrodę
Green Day – みどりの日 – 4 May. Until 2006, April 29 was celebrated, as it was the birthday of Emperor Showa, who liked plants and nature

Dzień Dziecka – kodomo no hi – 5 May, przede wszytkim dzień chłopców
Children’s Day – 子供の日 – 5 May, originally Boys’ Day

Until 1948, Children’s Day on May 5 was known as Boys’ Day, which featured displays of samurai dolls, while March 3 was Girls’ Day, Hinamatsuri, which featured displays of princess dolls. (I was born in 1949, first arrived in Japan in 1950, and had 3 brothers born in Japan, but didn’t have a sister until 1956, when we were on furlough in the U.S.)

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Filed under education, family, Japan, labor, language, Poland

Food Fair in Kielce, March 13-15

Ekspedycja Smaku na Rynku w Kielcach
Taste Expedition in the Market Square of Kielce

Impreza organizowana przez Ekspedycję Smaku potrwa przez cały weekend.
A party organized by Taste Expedition will last the whole weekend.

Ekspedycja Orientalna to kulinarna podróż przez azjatyckie smaki i aromaty. W sercu Kielc zapachnie trawą cytrynową, imbirem i chili. Spróbujemy między innymi pho, banh mi, koreańskich przysmaków i malezyjskich dań prosto z Azji.
Oriental Expedition is a culinary journey through Asian tastes and aromas. In the heart of Kielce will waft the smells of lemon grass, ginger, and chili. We will try things like pho, banh mi, Korean spices and Malaysian straight from Asia. 

Ekspedycja Słodkości to świat deserów. Na stoiskach znajdziemy puszyste churrosy, belgijskie gofry, kolorowe makaroniki, lody rzemieślnicze i mnóstwo innych słodkich niespodzianek. Sweets Expedition is a world of deserts. At the stalls, we’ll find fluffy churros, Belgian waffles, colorful pastas, artisanal ice cream, and plenty of other sweet surprises.

Ekspedycja Piwa i Wina to podróż przez świat rzemieślniczych trunków i tradycyjnych receptur. W sercu Kielc spotkają się pasjonaci piwa, wina i nalewek. Na Rynku znajdziemy rzemieślnicze browary z całej Polski, wyjątkowe winnice i starannie wyselekcjonowane wina, tradycyjne nalewki i autorskie kompozycje smakowe, beczki, aromaty słodu, chmielu i dojrzewających win. To wydarzenie dla koneserów, odkrywców smaków i wszystkich, którzy chcą poznać tajniki produkcji trunków oraz porozmawiać bezpośrednio z ich twórcami. Beer and Wine Expedition is a journey through the world of artisanal drinks and traditional recipes. In the heart of Kielce, enthusiasts will encounter beer, wine, and liqueurs. In the Market Square, we’ll find artisanal brewers from all over Poland, exceptional vineyards, and carefully selected wines, traditional liqueurs, and original taste pairings, barrels, aromas of malt, hops, and aging wine. This event for connoisseurs, taste explorers, and all who want to learn the secrets of drink production and talk directly with their creators.

Ekspedycja Rzemiosła i Cudów to wydarzenie, gdzie tradycja spotka wyobraźnię, a każdy przedmiot opowie własną historię. W sercu Kielc odkryjemy unikatowe wyroby rzemieślnicze, artystyczną biżuterię, naturalne kosmetyki, ceramikę, świece, ilustracje, dekoracje i cuda, których nie znajdziemy w masowej produkcji. Crafts and Wonders Expedition is an event where tradition meets imagination, and each object will tell its own story. In the heart of Kielce we’ll discover unique artisanal products, artistic jewelry, natural cosmetics, ceramics, candles, drawings, decorations, and wonders, which we do not find in mass production.

Nie zabraknie też strefy rodzinnej, w której znajdziemy dmuchane atrakcje dla dzieci i kreatywne inspiracje dla małych i dużych oraz mnóstwo muzyki. There will also be family zones, in which we will find inflatable attractions for children and creative inspirations for young and old and plenty of music.

Wydarzenie trwać będzie w godzinach:
Event to last the following hours:

  • Piątek 15–20 Friday 3–8 pm
  • Sobota 12–20 Saturday 12–8 pm
  • Niedziela 11–19 Sunday 11–7 pm

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Filed under art, Asia, family, food, Poland

Polish Realia: Funerals

Wojewódski Szpital Zespolony w Kielcach
‘County General Hospital in Kielce’

Zakaz wjazdu na teren prosektorium za wyątkiem rodzin osób zmarłych oraz przedsiębiorstw pogrzebowych dowożących i wywożących osoby zmarłe.
‘No entry on the property of the morgue, except for families of the deceased and funeral homes delivering and removing the deceased.’

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Usługi Pogrzebowa ‘Funeral Services’
Telefony Całodobowe ‘Telephones Always Available’

Dom Pogrzebowy ‘Home Funerals’
Nowoczesne Chłodnie ‘Modern Cold Storage’
Przewoży Zmarłych z Domów i Szpitali ‘Moving bodies from homes and hospitals’
Oryginalne Karawany ‘Original Caravans’
Autokary ‘Coaches’

Kaplice Pożegnań ‘Chapel Farewells’
Producent Trumien ‘Making Coffins’
Kremacje, Urny ‘Cremation, Urns’
Katakumby, Nagrobki ‘Crypts, Tombstones’
Wieńce, Wiązanki ‘Wreaths, Bouquets’

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Zniczomat ‘Lanternmat’ (at the cemetery)
Automat z Wkładami do Zniczy ‘Automated Candle Dispenser for Lanterns’

Strefa Zniczo Dzielenia ‘Lantern Sharing Zone’
Znicze w Tórnego Obiegu ‘Lanterns in Circulation’
Nie wyrzucaj zniczy ‘Don’t discard lanterns’
Podziel się z innym ‘Share them with others’

1 Dopasuj wysokość wykładu ‘Measure the height of the product/candle’
2 Kup wykład ‘Buy the product/candle’ (Dotknij ekran ‘Touch screen’)
3 Odbierz wykład ‘Pick up the product/candle’

Pierwszy taki automat w Polsce! ‘The first such automat in Poland!’

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My Stroke of Luck

I was discharged from the Cardiology Dept. of Wojewódzki Szpital Zespolony w Kielcach on December 19, after 9 days in their care, just in time for plummeting temperatures and fresh snowfall. And also in time for the arrival of our daughter’s eagerly awaited visit. After 10 days of recovery at home, we took the train to Krakow, where we spent New Year’s Eve (Sylwester) and part of New Year’s Day before taking the train back to Kielce. Although I didn’t join my wife and our visitors for any sightseeing, I must have strained my heart on the way back home, because I woke up the next morning in the throes of a stroke.

My wife dialed 112 on her Polish phone and soon got a response from an English-speaking dispatcher who sent an ambulance crew to our apartment. Very soon, two sturdy men came in, tested me for stroke symptoms, then got me dressed, tightly grabbed each arm and walked me to the elevator, then out to the ambulance. Acting quickly at the ER, they slathered me with antiseptic povidine-iodine from my thighs to my shoulders to prepare for a mechanical thrombectomy, the optimal treatment for an ischemic stroke if performed within 6 hours. Within 2 hours, the doctors located the clot in the back of my neck, made a small incision in my groin, then threaded catheters through my blood vessels to the clot. A tiny device at the catheter’s tip grabbed the clot and removed it, restoring blood flow in my brain.

I woke up in an intake ward with each patient confined to bed and hooked to monitors that went off frequently for the next 24 hours, as did a few of the patients. During next morning rounds, however, my surgeon came by, tested my coordination, and told me (in English) that they had found the clot and removed it, that it was not in a position to cause lasting damage, and that I would be walking by day’s end. I nearly cried in relief!

Sure enough, later that day an orderly wheeled me in my bed and with my personal effects locker (szafka) into a small room with private WC that included a shower! I had no trouble getting out of my old bedclothes, taking a long hot shower that scratched my terrible rash from the povidine-iodine antiseptic (which took daily injections to clear up), and changing into new bedclothes before anyone else came by.

My wife arrived with new supplies in time to meet the previous occupant and chat in English with his son. The father told me in Polish that he had stayed there 7 days, and added “Gut schlafen!” On my seventh day, I got to meet the next occupant. He was a workaholic builder with his own laptop and cellphone hotspot (and a hole in his heart). We traded notes in macaronic mixtures of Italian & Romanian, Polish and English. (He had a sister in Switzerland who spoke several more languages.) I also mixed some Romanian and Italian with one of the cleaning ladies (from Tuscany), and exchanged a bit of German with one of the technicians who fitted me with a portable 24-hr EKG one day, and a portable 24-hr BP-monitor a day or two later.

The Neurology Complex of Wojewódzki Szpital Zespolony w Kielcach is highly rated. The bulletin board near the nurses station displayed a certificate awarding it an ISO 9001:2015 Quality Management System status for 2019 through 2028. It is no coincidence that Holy Cross Voivodship is demographically the oldest in Poland. One of their sonograph technicians thoroughly explored my carotid arteries on their high-quality equipment and said he found no abnormalities. A senior technician later ultrasonically investigated the left atrium of my heart, which used to host a thrombus in situ. He didn’t find anything, so it seems that that thrombus is what broke off, lodged at the base of my neck, and caused my stroke, until it was removed by my surgical team. A miracle!

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Not the End of Faroutliers Yet!

I want to express my profound gratitude and appreciation to the doctors, nurses, technicians, and orderlies of Wojewódzki Szpital Zespolony w Kielcach for saving my life during my sudden blogging hiatus this month. I was experiencing a variety of symptoms of my body shutting down: extreme fatigue, loss of appetite, loss of weight, short-windedness, etc. My wife booked me a general checkup at a private clinic, who referred me immediately to the emergency room of the top provincial (voivodal) hospital when they saw extreme atrial fibrillation in my EKG. My heart was not pumping enough blood into the rest of my body.

One of the senior triage nurses that welcomed me became my guardian angel. She could speak in tongues! She had worked abroad in Ireland and spoke very fast and fluent English. She explained what I could expect in the busy Cardiology and Electrotherapy Ward, and during each of her shifts, she would come by and tell me what their findings were and what to expect next.

They first checked my heart with EKGs and tomography, and got my heartrate under control with a panoply of drugs that I am now taking at home. I could see my BP finally begin to rise from low systolic 55 until it broke 100. (My typical BP used to be ~120/70.) I began predicting my temperature and BP in Polish numbers. My appetite quickly revived with the hearty but healthy Polish hospital fare served from a roll-around field kitchen.

The least pleasant task was last, downing 3 liters of laxative-laden water before 10 pm, and one more liter after 5 am to prepare for my colonoscopy the next morning. After that procedure I underwent an extremely painful gastroscopy, without anesthesia in either procedure. They were both critical steps in my diagnosis. After a night to recover, I was discharged the next day, with a full hospital record of every assessment, measurement, dosage, or procedure, all in Polish.

I came home with a much lighter heart, an appetite intact, a long list of pharmaceuticals, and a much rosier outlook as the days finally begin to lengthen! I’ll try to follow up with a few lighter-hearted impressions of this foreigner’s week in a Polish hospital ward.

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Treasure Island is Born at Braemar

From Storyteller: The Life of Robert Louis Stevenson, by Leo Damrosch (Yale University Press, 2025), Kindle pp. 357-358:

To amuse themselves during the endless rain, Louis and Lloyd drew a map of an imaginary island and made up stories about it. As Louis remembered, “It was elaborately and (I thought) beautifully coloured; the shape of it took my fancy beyond expression; it contained harbours that pleased me like sonnets; and with the unconsciousness of the predestined, I ticketed my performance Treasure Island.” The tale may have been predestined, but its title wasn’t. Originally he called his story The Sea Cook after Long John Silver, the former pirate who joins the treasure-seeking voyage disguised as a cook. The Sea Cook is almost as unpromising a title as Trimalchio at West Egg, which Fitzgerald originally wanted for his masterpiece The Great Gatsby. It was a publisher who told Louis that Treasure Island would be more effective.

Louis added that the story “seemed to me as original as sin.” There were plenty of melodramatic sea stories in existence, as well as histories of eighteenth-century piracy that he had devoured, but those are forgotten today while Treasure Island is a world classic, translated into scores of languages and reissued in countless editions. It was especially gratifying that the project brought out the adventure-loving romantic in Thomas Stevenson.

I had counted on one boy, I found I had two in my audience. My father caught fire at once with all the romance and childishness of his original nature. His own stories, that every night of his life he put himself to sleep with, dealt perpetually with ships, roadside inns, robbers, old sailors, and commercial travelers before the era of steam. He never finished one of these romances; the lucky man did not require to! But in Treasure Island he recognised something kindred to his own imagination; it was his kind of picturesque; and he not only heard with delight the daily chapter, but set himself actively to collaborate.

Treasure Island is constructed with consummate art, but the best art conceals art. The story is told by Jim Hawkins, recalling his boyhood in a seaside inn kept by his parents in the west of England.

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RLS & Fanny as Newlyweds

From Storyteller: The Life of Robert Louis Stevenson, by Leo Damrosch (Yale University Press, 2025), Kindle pp. 311-312:

The newlyweds entered this union with their eyes open. A fragmentary essay that Louis drafted in San Francisco shows deep understanding of the relationship they were now confirming.

In all our daring, magnanimous human way of life, I find nothing more bold than this. To go into battle is but a small thing by comparison. It is the last act of committal. After that, there is no way left, not even suicide, but to be a good man. She will help you, let us pray. And yet she is in the same case; she, too, has daily made shipwreck of her own happiness and worth; it is with a courage no less irrational than yours that she also ventures on this new experiment of life. Two who have failed severally now join their fortunes with a wavering hope.

Biographers have suggested that Fanny was lucky to get Louis, but the reverse was equally true. He commented a year later that she had married him “when I was a mere complication of cough and bones, much fitter for an emblem of mortality than a bridegroom.” Nellie said that “she married him when his fortunes, both in health and finances, were at their lowest ebb, and she took this step in the almost certain conviction that in a few months at least she would be a widow. The best that she hoped for was to make his last days as comfortable and happy as possible.”

Fanny certainly didn’t imagine that she was uniting herself with a future celebrity. “She married Louis,” Belle said, “not expecting that he would live, but hoping by her devotion to prolong this life now so dear to her. Though she admired his work, she had no idea he would ever become famous.” In fact his later achievements had much to do not just with Fanny’s belief in him, but with her intelligent criticism and advice. Nellie also said, “Her profound faith in his genius before the rest of the world had come to recognize it had a great deal to do with keeping up his faith in himself.”

Belle added a moving reminiscence: “I remember coming through the hall, and stopping suddenly at a light joyous sound. With a catch at my heart, I realized it was the first time I had ever heard my mother laugh.” As Nellie commented in quoting this, Belle never grasped until then “what a sad and bitter life Fanny Osbourne’s had been.”

More than any of Louis’s biographers, Richard Holmes does justice to this remarkable union. “When one considers other Victorian literary marriages—Hardy’s, say, or Dickens’s—Stevenson’s is something phenomenal, dynamic, explosive. It contained energies, tempests, fireworks, and sheer anarchic excitement that would have obliterated any conventional household. To find anything like his relationship with Fanny—and the comparison is significant in the largest way—one would have to look forward to Lawrence and Frieda.”

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Capt. Cook’s Family

From The Wide Wide Sea: Imperial Ambition, First Contact and the Fateful Final Voyage of Captain James Cook, by Hampton Sides (Knopf Doubleday, 2024), Kindle pp. 347-348:

ELIZABETH COOK NEVER remarried and remained a widow for fifty-six years. Sadly, she outlived all of her children, none of whom had children of their own. In October of 1780, the same month the Resolution and the Discovery returned to England, Nathaniel Cook, a midshipman serving on the HMS Thunderer, went down with more than six hundred other souls in a massive hurricane off Jamaica. He was only sixteen. Thirteen years later, in 1793, Hugh Cook perished from scarlet fever while at Cambridge, where he was studying to be an Anglican minister. Only a month after that, the eldest of the Cook boys, James, drowned near the Isle of Wight. The shock of losing her last two sons in such rapid succession proved too much for Elizabeth—it was said she spent almost three years confined to her bed.

At least, thanks to Lord Sandwich, she received a pension of £200 each year from the Admiralty, which, together with her husband’s share of the royalties from the publication of his voyage accounts, saw her into old age. “She kept her faculties to the end,” wrote Elizabeth’s cousin Canon Bennett, describing her as “a handsome and venerable lady, her white hair rolled back in ancient fashion, always dressed in black satin. She wore a ring with her husband’s hair in it, and she entertained the highest respect for his memory, measuring everything by his standard of honor and morality. Her keenest expression of disapprobation was that ‘Mr. Cook’—to her he was always Mr. Cook, not Captain—‘would never have done so.’ Like many widows of sailors, she could never sleep in high wind for thinking of the men at sea.”

Elizabeth Cook died in 1835, aged ninety-three.

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